


Moving On

by my_proof_is_you



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Winchester/Reader - Freeform, Dean Winchester/You - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character Death, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Smut, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-15 21:58:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_proof_is_you/pseuds/my_proof_is_you
Summary: The void left by her death was insurmountable.Can the Winchesters put your shattered heart back together? You've been friends with them for a long time. They've always known you as a pair. But as they help you heal, they get to see you as your own person. And one brother in particular likes it.





	1. Chapter 1

You took the paper coffee cup from Sam’s outstretched hand. You inhaled deeply, the steam coming from the sippy hole in the lid filling your nose and warming you.

"Thanks,” you muttered, taking a sip. Sam gave you his signature half-smile and sat next to you, stretching out his legs and slinging an arm around the back of your chair. It was a gesture you were used to--Sam had always been like a brother to you. It was his way of showing he was there for you.

Dean sat on your other side, shifting a little in his seat. You could tell he was uncomfortable, but he wanted to show that he was there for you as well. He lifted a hand off his knee, letting it hang in the air for a moment before placing it back down. 

Twenty minutes later the funeral was over and you were saying goodbye to the few people that had come to pay their respects. As the last guest left, you looked at the casket at the front of the church. It was empty.

You had given your sister a hunter’s funeral three days ago, only hours after her death. You waited only for Sam and Dean to arrive before setting fire to the pyre you had built. You knew they would want to be there. It was a good thing they were, too, because the moment you threw the lighter on the pile of wood, you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore. Thankfully, there was a pair of strong arms to catch you as you sobbed.

You walked toward her casket, placing a hand on the shiny wood when you reached it. The pain you felt from the sight was real, whether she was in it or not. In fact, you laughed dryly to yourself as you thought of how perfect a metaphor the empty wooden box was.

You felt empty. Your sister was dead. She had been your partner in crime, your protector, and your best friend for all your life. Laura was everything to you after your parents were killed. After the werewolf tore out their hearts, you were no longer the sixteen and nineteen-year-olds you once were. You had to grow up.

Luckily, your big sister was there, as were the two brothers that explained the side of the world you didn’t know existed: the supernatural. 

The two of you became hunters, and to be honest, you kicked ass together. The Winchester brothers helped to train you, and once you could handle yourselves you went out on your own. You had stayed close with the brothers, calling for advice or research and meeting up when you were on the same side of the country. There were times you didn’t see them much, like when Sam went to Stanford, or when one or the other of the brothers died. But they still stayed your best friends. 

You felt a hand on your shoulder, and turned with tears in your eyes. You knew it was time to go now, and that meant officially leaving your sister behind. 

“You ready?” Sam asked, his big hand warm on your shoulder. 

“I don’t know if I ever will be,” you replied, sniffling. You turned, though, letting Sam walk you out of the church with his hand on the small of your back. Dean led the way, opening the back door of his Impala and closing it behind you.

You saw him glance at you a few times in the rear view mirror, concern lacing his features. Dean was a fixer, and you knew he didn’t like that he couldn’t fix this for you.

You leaned your head back, inhaling deeply. Your mind was dying to be blank, but you couldn’t let it. You couldn’t stop thinking about what you were going to do next. 

You had no idea.

When you even thought about hunting alone your heart froze. How could you go on without Laura? 

You looked out the window after a while, realizing the terrain wasn’t familiar.

“Uh, guys? I don’t think this is the way back to the motel,” you said, furrowing your brows. Dean wasn’t one to usually get lost.

“That’s because it’s not,” Sam said, turning his head to look at you in the back seat. He had a small smile on his face. 

“Dean?” you asked when Sam didn’t explain.

“We already put your stuff in the trunk. You’re staying with us at the bunker,” he replied, not even looking at you in the mirror.

“Guys, you don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay,” you said. You knew how weak your voice sounded. You didn’t really have it in you to lie well.

“Not another word. You’re staying with us for as long as you want,” Dean said sternly. He looked at you then, his eyes piercing and sure. 

One side of your mouth lifted. “Thanks, boys.” You felt immediate relief knowing you didn’t have to leave by yourself. It was going to be hard enough going on living life without Laura. But to go back to hunting without her? That would be damn near impossible. 

There were a few minutes of silence before Dean cleared his throat. 

“Hey, uh, Y/N?” he asked. You looked at him in the mirror again, your eyebrows raised. “We’ll get you through this, okay?” he finished. Sam smiled at you in agreement. If anyone knew loss, it was the Winchester brothers.

You felt a small piece of your broken heart slide back into place with his words. “Yeah. Okay,” you said, nodding. 

And you knew they would get you through it. 


	2. Chapter 2

_ You watched as the demon plunged the knife into Laura’s heart. _

_ You watched as she fell to the ground, the demon running before you could get it with the blade. _

_ You watched as the light left her eyes, blood dripping from her mouth. _

_ You pulled her to you, rocking back and forth, begging her to be okay. _

_ You built the pyre, taking swigs of whiskey periodically as you did. _

_ You thought for the thousandth time that you would summon a demon and make a deal. _

_ You remembered that you promised her you would never do that. _

_ You heard the squeak of the Impala’s doors. _

_ You collapsed into Dean’s arms the second they were around you. _

_ You watched the fire burn the remains of your sister. _

_ You screamed out as the reality that she is dead hit you again. _

“Y/N!” 

You shot up in the bed, your body covered in a slick sheen of sweat. Every night since Laura died you had dreamed of it and the events after. And every night you woke screaming.

Sam shook lightly again. Your eyes were open, but he could tell you weren’t really seeing. You finally focused on him. 

“Sorry, Sammy.”

“Same nightmare?” he asked, concerned. He sat on the edge of your bed in your new room at the bunker. It was the room you and your sister had shared whenever you visited. They kept it open just for you, leaving a few toiletries and clothing items in the drawers for when you came. 

“Reality,” you corrected. Sam’s lips flattened and he looked down. You finally took in his full look and chuckled a little, breaking the tension. “God, Sam, you should really wear a shower cap to bed or something. You look ridiculous.”

His hair was sticking up in every direction. He attempted to smooth it down with his hand with little success. 

“Yeah, whatever, shrimp,” he said, getting up. He had always called you ‘shrimp’ since you were so much shorter than him. He got serious for a moment when he reached the door. “You gonna be okay?” he asked.

You gave him a closed-lip smile. “Yes. Thanks, Sam.”

He closed the door and you rolled over, knowing it would be hard to actually go back to sleep. You heard hushed voices in the hall and caught a few words here and there from Sam, Dean, and Castiel. They were saying things like, “worried” and “enough sleep” and “time to grieve.” You put your pillow over your head to shut them out. You knew they were concerned for you, but you hated to think you were a burden to them. They had enough to worry about.

You decided to get up and take a shower. You were all sweaty from the dream and Lord knows you weren’t going to be falling asleep anytime soon. When you exited your room and ventured down the hall, you saw Dean leaning casually in his doorway. He had navy sweatpants on that hugged his hips nicely and a gray T-shirt that fit perfectly around his muscles. 

You had always thought Dean was cute. You had a monster crush on him when you first met, but you knew it would never be reciprocated. How could it? You were younger, first of all, and secondly, Laura was like the perfect human and you couldn’t compete. 

She was tall and thin, her golden hair falling in waves down to her back. She had sparkling eyes and a perfect smile. She was lithe and graceful as a hunter. And while you were nothing to turn your nose up at—with your shiny y/h/c hair and deep y/e/c eyes—you always felt she was more beautiful than you.

Laura and Dean were the same age, while you were a year older than Sam. That had made you gravitate toward Sam for friendship. Dean and Laura were fairly close, but Laura kept most people besides you at an arm’s reach. So even if Dean  _ had  _ made a move, nothing would have come of it. 

“Hitting the showers?” Dean asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. You shifted from foot to foot, trying not to let your face redden at being caught checking him out.

“Yep,” you said shortly. 

“Nightmares, huh?” 

“Yep,” you said again, your lips popping on the ‘p’.

Dean nodded, total understanding in his features. “Well I’m right behind this door if you need me,” he said, his head jerking behind him into his room.

You weren’t sure if he was just being nice. You couldn’t imagine actually being brave enough to walk into Dean Winchester’s bedroom in the middle of the night because you had a scary dream. 

You nodded and continued down the hall without a word. You showered slowly, trying to relax so you could sleep. It did little good. You found yourself looking through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, searching for something—anything—to help you stop thinking and go to sleep.

You landed on some Percocet that was God knows how old and from God knows where. It didn't matter. You needed to sleep.  _ Really  _ sleep.

You took two and went back to bed where you slept your first dreamless night in days.   
  


* * *

 

You woke with a start, shocked that you actually slept. You sat up and immediately felt like you had a massive hangover. Your mouth was dry and your head ached.

“That’s what I get for taking unauthorized pain meds,” you muttered quietly to yourself. You pulled yourself out of bed and headed to the kitchen in search of coffee.

“Finally get some sleep, did ya?” you heard as you made a beeline for the coffee maker.

You looked up at Dean with a glare already in place. You knew you looked like shit, and it was confirmed by the smirk he was wearing.

You replied non-verbally, sticking up your middle finger as your other hand reached for the coffee pot. 

“Hey, I didn’t say anything mean,” he said, one hand holding his own mug and the other up in a surrendered position. 

You took a sip of the magic liquid before responding. “Honestly, despite my appearance and the massive pain-killer headache I have, I feel the best I have in a while.” You leaned against the counter, the hot mug warming your hands. 

One side of his mouth lifted in a smile. “I’m glad.”

You continued to look at each other for a moment before Sam came rushing in with his iPad in hand. He stopped short when he saw you.

“Oh, hey, Y/N. I uh, didn’t know you were up.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Sam, just go ahead and say whatever you were going to say. It’s fine.” You had a feeling you knew what was on that iPad, and you knew you’d have to face it eventually.

Sam looked at you for a long moment, his eyebrows crinkled in concern. You gave him a pointed look that told him to listen to you and he turned to Dean.

“So get this. Jody said there might be a hunt near her. She’s really busy with the girls and asked us to take a look. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s probably a djinn,” he said, handing the iPad to his brother. Dean scrolled through the article, nodding to himself as he read. 

“Yep. Let’s get going,” he said, handing the tablet back to Sam and heading for his room. 

You followed behind him, coffee in hand. He stopped suddenly in the middle of the hall and you halted as quickly as possible so you wouldn’t run into him, spilling some of your coffee in the process. 

“What the hell?” you asked, looking down at your now coffee-stained shirt. 

“Where do you think you’re going, princess?” he asked, his hand up in a halting motion.

“To pack…?” you said, confused. 

Dean was already shaking his head. “No. There’s no way you’re ready for this.” 

“What? Yes, I am!”

“No, you’re not. If you get emotional out there, you’ll lose your head and you’ll make a mistake. I won’t have that on my conscience.”

You rolled your eyes. Dean Winchester: ever the protector. 

“I will be okay. I can separate my emotions and hunting. I have for a very, very long time,” you said slowly but with a steady voice. “Besides, I’m an adult. You can’t exactly stop me.”

Dean sighed, knowing you were right. Whenever there were arguments between you and Laura in the past where  _ she  _ was being protective of you and treating you like a kid, you always won. 

He turned and continued to his room. You smirked in victory and went to your own to pack. 

Even though you put on a brave face, though, the truth was you weren’t one-hundred percent sure you could do what you said. Your first hunt without Laura was bound to be hard. It had to happen sometime, though, so why not now?


	3. Chapter 3

You threw your head back, laughing a full belly-laugh loudly. 

The four of you sat with wine and beer, waiting on dinner to be done. When you finally stopped laughing, you finished your glass of wine and got up to refill it. 

“Anyone else?” you asked, gesturing to your empty glass. Everyone else needed a refill as well, so you took note to get one more glass of wine and two beers. 

When you got to the kitchen you checked on the roast that was in the oven, your mouth watering at the smell. You poured the two glasses of wine and nearly jumped out of your skin when you turned to see Dean standing right behind you. 

“Geez, you scared me!” you said, clutching your chest. 

“Didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart. Just thought you could use a hand,” he replied with a chuckle. You both stood there for a moment, Dean’s emerald eyes staring into yours. 

You took a deep breath. “So...Sam and Laura seem to be getting a lot closer, huh?” you asked, breaking the tension. 

“Mmm,” he agreed, still not looking away from you. 

“Everything okay?” you asked, your heartbeat speeding up. 

“Yeah. Just don’t wanna talk about them,” he replied quietly.

“Well what do you want to talk about?”

“You. In this dress.”

You were wearing a fairly short sundress that showed off your long legs and sun-kissed summer skin. It had a halter top that dipped low between your breasts.

“Oh?” you asked, breathless.

“Mmm,” he hummed again. His hand found your waist and his fingers dug in, causing you to gasp. He pulled you close and used his other hand to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Then, his lips met yours fiercely but tenderly. Your heart felt like it would beat out of your chest. You couldn’t believe this was really happening after all this time. You returned the kiss in earnest, opening your lips to let his tongue slide in.  

———

Dean

Dean heard a tiny squeal and turned quickly to see you were gone. 

“Y/N? Y/N!” he yelled. He ran in the direction you disappeared with Sam on his heels. It was no use, though. The djinn was faster. 

You were gone.

———

“Dean,” you said, pushing him lightly away from you. He stopped kissing you and looked at you with questioning eyes. 

“They’re waiting for us. To be continued?” you asked with a smile.

“You know it, sweetheart.”

You grabbed the wine and Dean grabbed two beers and you joined your siblings back in the living room. 

“God, don’t let me have any more wine after this,” Laura said, shaking her head. 

“Working tomorrow?” Sam asked.

“Yes, and let me tell you, instructing a spin class with a hangover is not fun.”

“Neither is listening to a judge bang a gavel all day,” Sam added. 

“Well, that’s what you get for going all smarty-pants-lawyer on us,” she replied with a smirk. You could see admiration in her eyes, though. 

You had to admit, they would make a cute couple. And the way things were looking with Dean…

Everything was perfect.

\-----

Dean

“Fuck, she’s really far gone,” Sam said, lifting your limp head. They had found the warehouse where the djinn took you and were able to kill it quickly. All its other victims were dead.

Dean sawed as fast as he could through the ropes holding you up. The second they gave way, he caught you, slowly lowering you to the floor and holding you.

“Y/N, come on sweetheart, wake up,” he said, tapping your face gently.

\----

“Sweetheart, wake up,” you heard from beside you. You opened your eyes and were terrified for a moment when you saw a flash of you and Dean in an old warehouse, blood dripping down his forehead. You blinked and it was gone.

You were in your bed, Dean’s arms snaked around you after a perfect night spent together. You smiled and gave him a kiss, holding there for a moment with your eyes closed. 

When you opened them you saw the warehouse again and panic filled your heart.

“Y/N? Y/N, stay with me,” Dean said, his arms still around you in this new location.

“Dean?” you asked, confused. 

“You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay,” he chanted, rocking you in his arms.

Realization hit you. Your heart broke all over again, the pain of loss strong. 

You began to sob uncontrollably. Dean searched your body for something that was broken or cut, but found nothing. He looked into your eyes and you could tell he understood. 

Your perfect world was just shattered. 


End file.
